Chapter 10

17th of St.Augustus

Entry 13

I woke up in the dirt next morning. I still felt like I'd been hit by a train. I knew I needed help. Fast. I was still bleeding a bit and I think a few bones were broken. I started walking towards home, slowly and painfully. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and fell on my stomach. Being conscious in this state felt horrible and there was nothing I could do about it.

I passed out again.

I awoke to a sharp pain on my side. It took a while to realize that I wasn't on the street anymore. I was in a small, old room, lying on a worn bed. As I tried to get up I noticed that I was tied down. I looked on my right and saw a poor girl cleaning my wounds. She didn't care whether I was awake or not, she was fully concentrated on healing me.
"Shut up", she said after I tried to ask where I was. Since there was nothing else I could do I relaxed the best I could and eventually fell asleep. It didn't hurt much anymore.
I woke up after a few hours, or at least it felt like it. My body ached when I sat up. When I stood up I realized that I had nothing but bandages on and almost fell on my knees. My legs felt weak. I got on my feet and forced myself to walk to the nearest door. Right before I opened it someone grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm back.
"You can't go there!", she hissed. She was the same girl as before. "Lord is there and he doesn't allow strangers in his house". She handed me a black, plain dress, similar to what she's wearing.
"Here, put this on. You need to get out of here". I tried to dress up the best I can but it isn't easy. My body was hurting all over and the dress felt really tight around my shoulders and arms. On the other hand, it felt very loose around my bust because of my nonexistent breasts.
After the dress was finally on she led me through the back door. I walked as fast as I could, constantly supporting myself against the walls.
"Here's the money you had in your pockets. I had to throw the clothes away, though, I hope you don't mind. I already took what I need to replace the bandages and other supplies I used on your wounds, I don't want to get caught stealing them. Now, go wherever you need to go before they find out about you". She dropped two pounds on my hand and pushed me through the backyard gate, locking it after me. I didn't understand what just happened. Who was she? Why did she help me? Who does she work for, and who are 'they'? And more importantly, why was there money in the pockets of my brother's suit? I started walking towards my brother's place, slowly but steadily, eventually reaching it after a few hours.
When I finally got there it was already dark. I opened the door with the key he always keeps under a potted plant nearby and realized that it was very dark inside. He should have been home already. I look around, finding nothing but the parakeet my brother holds dear. I fed him because he seemed hungry. I went to the kitchen, ate an apple and fell asleep on the couch.

Chapter 9

The clock ticks forward, slowly and steadily. I check the time - 6 p.m. The king hasn't shown up yet and I don't know why. I try to find someone to spend time with until he arrives. I find the older son, Bernard, from an empty table, staring into the distance with no visible target for his gaze. I sit in a chair on the other side of the table. He doesn't notice me. He looks sad, somehow, and I want to comfort him. But I wouldn't dare. I start wondering what the king looks like. Mother always says how handsome the beloved king Leopold is. I'm not sure if he's that handsome anymore since this is his 52nd birthday.
"Young lord Bernard! His Majesty requires you to arrive into his room in five minutes!", I hear from the other side of the room. Bernard flinches. He looks around, as if he had forgotten where he was. He looks surprised, almost shocked, when he notices me.
"Milady? How long have you been sitting there?", he asks a bit nervously. I check the time again. 6:09.
"Around five minutes".
"I'm so sorry I didn't notice you, I was just lost in thoughts...". He sounds more nervous, as if he didn't think I'd believe him.
"I know", I answer, "just, go ahead now. Your Father's waiting for you. I can stay here until you return".
He thanks me and almost runs away. I wonder how long it'll take until he returns. Ten minutes? An hour? I wish he had at least let me in the library. Out of the blue, his brother, Alexander, appears in front of me, almost like out of thin air. He waves his hand in front of my eyes.
"Hello? You there, lady?", he cries. I squint to him and he laughs a bit.
"You're amazing, you know that?", he says and wipes his left eye.
"Huh?".
"You caught everybody's eyes the moment you stepped in here and you still haven't noticed it? Damn, you're really something". I look at him, a bit confused, until I start looking around me. I see many eyes, looking towards me, like I was some kind of an exhibit of sort. I want to get away.
"C'mon, I want to show you something!", he almost shouts as he grabs my arm and starts walking so fast he's almost running. I try to get my arm free but with no luck. I almost fall twice  trying to keep up with him. I should probably be panicking or at least a little shocked for how he's pulling me away from everybody else, but I'm not. I'm somewhat calm and a bit excited, looking forward to what he's going to show me. His hand is big and warm.

He takes me to the kitchen, through the backdoor and into the big garden behind the palace. There he leads me to a big, branchy tree. It's so close to the palace wall one could climb it to get into the palace. Finally, he lets go of my hand and starts climbing.
"What are you doing?", I ask.
"You'll see! Just come up here!", he shouts from four yards high. I feel a bit nervous as I grab hold of one of the lower branches. I climb, slowly, trying not to step on my hem. In three feet I start feeling a bit sick.
"Are you sure about this? We could still go back down...".
"Don't worry about it!", he calls out from six yards.
I don't want to be left alone so I scale higher, finally reaching him. I hold on to the tree the best I can. Alexander tries to open a window, dangerously far away from the tree trunk. I almost beg him to stop the madness and go back down with me but decide not to stay anything because I have a feeling that it wouldn't change anything.
After a minute or so he finally gets the window open. He almost leaps through it, then reaches out his hand for me. I grab it and somehow manage to go through the window. As I check if there's any dirt or cuts in my dress or limbs I realize that one of my shoes is missing. There is no major damage anywhere so I take off my remaining shoe and start carrying it around.
I look around. We're standing in a small washroom that seemingly hasn't been used in years. Alexander asks me to stay quiet as he looks through the doorway. He says it's safe and tiptoes through the door. I follow him, even though I have no idea about what's happening. He leads me through a couple of hallways, dodging a couple of guards and servants. He opens one of the two huge doors at the end of the hallway, revealing a small room full of bookcases. I can't help but be amazed as we step inside.
"I  wanted to show you this while you're still here... I thought you'd like this", he whispers, looking a bit embarrassed. I can barely keep myself silent enough.
"This is the best thing that has happened to me today", I say as quietly as I can. Without realizing what I'm doing, I hug him briefly and go to the nearest bookshelf, almost running. I see books from Aristotle, Kant and many other famous philosophers. I pick a book that looks interesting, Kant's Logic, and start reading it.
After the first few pages Alexander shoves me forward.
"Hide!", he whispers, as he runs to the other side of the room and tries to hide behind a curtain. I look around me, and after I notice a small table near the wall I slip under it. I pull the hem of my dress closer and hold my breath.
I hear loud footsteps from behind the wall. They stop behind the doors. After a moment someone slams the doors open.
"Brother, I know you're in here!", I hear from the doors. Bernard. I feel the urge to show up but resist it.
"No I'm not!", comes from behind the curtain.
"Don't make me ask again".
"Go away!".
I see Bernard's boots as he stomps through the room. He pulls the curtain back. Alexander tries to run by but gets stopped.
"You shouldn't even be here. You should be drinking beer and wooing prostitutes, because that's what you always do". I can hear Bernard's getting angry.
"Maybe I felt like reading, dear brother. At least I know how to get a woman". For some reason I feel like he forgot I am still here.
"Ha! Don't make me laugh. Even Emma left you".
Alexander looks really angry. All of a sudden, he punches his brother in the face.
"Don't ever - EVER - mention that name again!". Bernard wipes blood off his face with a calm look on his face.
"Relying on violence again, I see. No wonder father sent you away". He gets another punch, this time it's an uppercut. He falls on his back. Alexander looks in his eyes, then mine, looking like he's about to break. He kicks his brother's side once and flees.
I come from under the table. Bernard looks shocked when he notices me.
"How... did you get here?", he asks.
"Your brother brought me here. I'll help you to the doctor. Can you stand?". He tries to get up but as soon as he gets on his knees it looks like it really hurts. I try to help him up but after realizing I'm too weak I go and look for someone stronger to help him. I find a couple of guards who decide to come to the aid after realizing that I couldn't possibly be around here by myself.
After we get to the doctor's room they quickly put him on the bed. He's conscious, at least, and it looks like he's in a lot of pain. The doctor asks everyone to let them be as he goes through his cabinets. I don't want to leave but I am forced to give in when the guards push me outside and close the door. I sit on the floor, hug my knees and start weeping. I could've stopped them. I should've stopped them. But I just sat there like an idiot. And I still can't be of any help. I go through the incident again and again in my head.
I realize I had fallen asleep as someone taps on my shoulder. Bernard. He looks better than I expected, just a little bruised. When he notices how I examine him he lifts his shirt a bit, revealing some bandages.
"Are you all right?", I ask. I have to ask, because I caused this. I feel guilty. He chuckles and smiles a bit painfully.
"I'm fine, at least better than earlier. Thank you for helping me.".
"This is my fault... If I hadn't come in the palace today nothing would have happened...". I can feel that tears come into my eyes but I try to hold them back. He puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, don't worry about it, it's not your fault. It's just been a rough and tiresome day for all of us. C'mon, I'll escort you to your house if I may". I nod. I feel as if I'll cry as soon as I say a word.
It's almost midnight as we find my parents. They decide to come with us, because the only driver who knows the way to our house is ours. I can't remember the way because I don't pay enough attention to the surroundings.
Bernard takes me to his carriage. After my parents take ours we leave the palace and head home. He tells me most fascinating things that he had found out about Ancient Greece, how Plato's theory of ideas intrigues him so much. I've read books about it, so many times that the teacher couldn't sell them after I was done with them. 'Too worn', he used to say.
I don't notice when the carriage stops moving. I never do. But I realize it when Bernard says:
"We're here". I feel a bit embarrassed. I should notice when we stop moving, at least. As Bernard helps me out of the carriage I hear a noise from the back of our carriage. I look there and notice the man, or the woman, whom I saw in the party. He looks tired. But I shouldn't pay attention to him. When Bernard notices him he looks a bit annoyed. I get a bad feeling as he asks the carriage drivers to 'teach him a lesson'. When we get to the door he kisses my hand.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, milady". He goes back to his carriage and as soon as the driver returns they go back towards the palace.