Chapter 10

17th of St.Augustus

Entry 13

I woke up in the dirt next morning. I still felt like I'd been hit by a train. I knew I needed help. Fast. I was still bleeding a bit and I think a few bones were broken. I started walking towards home, slowly and painfully. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and fell on my stomach. Being conscious in this state felt horrible and there was nothing I could do about it.

I passed out again.

I awoke to a sharp pain on my side. It took a while to realize that I wasn't on the street anymore. I was in a small, old room, lying on a worn bed. As I tried to get up I noticed that I was tied down. I looked on my right and saw a poor girl cleaning my wounds. She didn't care whether I was awake or not, she was fully concentrated on healing me.
"Shut up", she said after I tried to ask where I was. Since there was nothing else I could do I relaxed the best I could and eventually fell asleep. It didn't hurt much anymore.
I woke up after a few hours, or at least it felt like it. My body ached when I sat up. When I stood up I realized that I had nothing but bandages on and almost fell on my knees. My legs felt weak. I got on my feet and forced myself to walk to the nearest door. Right before I opened it someone grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm back.
"You can't go there!", she hissed. She was the same girl as before. "Lord is there and he doesn't allow strangers in his house". She handed me a black, plain dress, similar to what she's wearing.
"Here, put this on. You need to get out of here". I tried to dress up the best I can but it isn't easy. My body was hurting all over and the dress felt really tight around my shoulders and arms. On the other hand, it felt very loose around my bust because of my nonexistent breasts.
After the dress was finally on she led me through the back door. I walked as fast as I could, constantly supporting myself against the walls.
"Here's the money you had in your pockets. I had to throw the clothes away, though, I hope you don't mind. I already took what I need to replace the bandages and other supplies I used on your wounds, I don't want to get caught stealing them. Now, go wherever you need to go before they find out about you". She dropped two pounds on my hand and pushed me through the backyard gate, locking it after me. I didn't understand what just happened. Who was she? Why did she help me? Who does she work for, and who are 'they'? And more importantly, why was there money in the pockets of my brother's suit? I started walking towards my brother's place, slowly but steadily, eventually reaching it after a few hours.
When I finally got there it was already dark. I opened the door with the key he always keeps under a potted plant nearby and realized that it was very dark inside. He should have been home already. I look around, finding nothing but the parakeet my brother holds dear. I fed him because he seemed hungry. I went to the kitchen, ate an apple and fell asleep on the couch.

Chapter 9

The clock ticks forward, slowly and steadily. I check the time - 6 p.m. The king hasn't shown up yet and I don't know why. I try to find someone to spend time with until he arrives. I find the older son, Bernard, from an empty table, staring into the distance with no visible target for his gaze. I sit in a chair on the other side of the table. He doesn't notice me. He looks sad, somehow, and I want to comfort him. But I wouldn't dare. I start wondering what the king looks like. Mother always says how handsome the beloved king Leopold is. I'm not sure if he's that handsome anymore since this is his 52nd birthday.
"Young lord Bernard! His Majesty requires you to arrive into his room in five minutes!", I hear from the other side of the room. Bernard flinches. He looks around, as if he had forgotten where he was. He looks surprised, almost shocked, when he notices me.
"Milady? How long have you been sitting there?", he asks a bit nervously. I check the time again. 6:09.
"Around five minutes".
"I'm so sorry I didn't notice you, I was just lost in thoughts...". He sounds more nervous, as if he didn't think I'd believe him.
"I know", I answer, "just, go ahead now. Your Father's waiting for you. I can stay here until you return".
He thanks me and almost runs away. I wonder how long it'll take until he returns. Ten minutes? An hour? I wish he had at least let me in the library. Out of the blue, his brother, Alexander, appears in front of me, almost like out of thin air. He waves his hand in front of my eyes.
"Hello? You there, lady?", he cries. I squint to him and he laughs a bit.
"You're amazing, you know that?", he says and wipes his left eye.
"Huh?".
"You caught everybody's eyes the moment you stepped in here and you still haven't noticed it? Damn, you're really something". I look at him, a bit confused, until I start looking around me. I see many eyes, looking towards me, like I was some kind of an exhibit of sort. I want to get away.
"C'mon, I want to show you something!", he almost shouts as he grabs my arm and starts walking so fast he's almost running. I try to get my arm free but with no luck. I almost fall twice  trying to keep up with him. I should probably be panicking or at least a little shocked for how he's pulling me away from everybody else, but I'm not. I'm somewhat calm and a bit excited, looking forward to what he's going to show me. His hand is big and warm.

He takes me to the kitchen, through the backdoor and into the big garden behind the palace. There he leads me to a big, branchy tree. It's so close to the palace wall one could climb it to get into the palace. Finally, he lets go of my hand and starts climbing.
"What are you doing?", I ask.
"You'll see! Just come up here!", he shouts from four yards high. I feel a bit nervous as I grab hold of one of the lower branches. I climb, slowly, trying not to step on my hem. In three feet I start feeling a bit sick.
"Are you sure about this? We could still go back down...".
"Don't worry about it!", he calls out from six yards.
I don't want to be left alone so I scale higher, finally reaching him. I hold on to the tree the best I can. Alexander tries to open a window, dangerously far away from the tree trunk. I almost beg him to stop the madness and go back down with me but decide not to stay anything because I have a feeling that it wouldn't change anything.
After a minute or so he finally gets the window open. He almost leaps through it, then reaches out his hand for me. I grab it and somehow manage to go through the window. As I check if there's any dirt or cuts in my dress or limbs I realize that one of my shoes is missing. There is no major damage anywhere so I take off my remaining shoe and start carrying it around.
I look around. We're standing in a small washroom that seemingly hasn't been used in years. Alexander asks me to stay quiet as he looks through the doorway. He says it's safe and tiptoes through the door. I follow him, even though I have no idea about what's happening. He leads me through a couple of hallways, dodging a couple of guards and servants. He opens one of the two huge doors at the end of the hallway, revealing a small room full of bookcases. I can't help but be amazed as we step inside.
"I  wanted to show you this while you're still here... I thought you'd like this", he whispers, looking a bit embarrassed. I can barely keep myself silent enough.
"This is the best thing that has happened to me today", I say as quietly as I can. Without realizing what I'm doing, I hug him briefly and go to the nearest bookshelf, almost running. I see books from Aristotle, Kant and many other famous philosophers. I pick a book that looks interesting, Kant's Logic, and start reading it.
After the first few pages Alexander shoves me forward.
"Hide!", he whispers, as he runs to the other side of the room and tries to hide behind a curtain. I look around me, and after I notice a small table near the wall I slip under it. I pull the hem of my dress closer and hold my breath.
I hear loud footsteps from behind the wall. They stop behind the doors. After a moment someone slams the doors open.
"Brother, I know you're in here!", I hear from the doors. Bernard. I feel the urge to show up but resist it.
"No I'm not!", comes from behind the curtain.
"Don't make me ask again".
"Go away!".
I see Bernard's boots as he stomps through the room. He pulls the curtain back. Alexander tries to run by but gets stopped.
"You shouldn't even be here. You should be drinking beer and wooing prostitutes, because that's what you always do". I can hear Bernard's getting angry.
"Maybe I felt like reading, dear brother. At least I know how to get a woman". For some reason I feel like he forgot I am still here.
"Ha! Don't make me laugh. Even Emma left you".
Alexander looks really angry. All of a sudden, he punches his brother in the face.
"Don't ever - EVER - mention that name again!". Bernard wipes blood off his face with a calm look on his face.
"Relying on violence again, I see. No wonder father sent you away". He gets another punch, this time it's an uppercut. He falls on his back. Alexander looks in his eyes, then mine, looking like he's about to break. He kicks his brother's side once and flees.
I come from under the table. Bernard looks shocked when he notices me.
"How... did you get here?", he asks.
"Your brother brought me here. I'll help you to the doctor. Can you stand?". He tries to get up but as soon as he gets on his knees it looks like it really hurts. I try to help him up but after realizing I'm too weak I go and look for someone stronger to help him. I find a couple of guards who decide to come to the aid after realizing that I couldn't possibly be around here by myself.
After we get to the doctor's room they quickly put him on the bed. He's conscious, at least, and it looks like he's in a lot of pain. The doctor asks everyone to let them be as he goes through his cabinets. I don't want to leave but I am forced to give in when the guards push me outside and close the door. I sit on the floor, hug my knees and start weeping. I could've stopped them. I should've stopped them. But I just sat there like an idiot. And I still can't be of any help. I go through the incident again and again in my head.
I realize I had fallen asleep as someone taps on my shoulder. Bernard. He looks better than I expected, just a little bruised. When he notices how I examine him he lifts his shirt a bit, revealing some bandages.
"Are you all right?", I ask. I have to ask, because I caused this. I feel guilty. He chuckles and smiles a bit painfully.
"I'm fine, at least better than earlier. Thank you for helping me.".
"This is my fault... If I hadn't come in the palace today nothing would have happened...". I can feel that tears come into my eyes but I try to hold them back. He puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, don't worry about it, it's not your fault. It's just been a rough and tiresome day for all of us. C'mon, I'll escort you to your house if I may". I nod. I feel as if I'll cry as soon as I say a word.
It's almost midnight as we find my parents. They decide to come with us, because the only driver who knows the way to our house is ours. I can't remember the way because I don't pay enough attention to the surroundings.
Bernard takes me to his carriage. After my parents take ours we leave the palace and head home. He tells me most fascinating things that he had found out about Ancient Greece, how Plato's theory of ideas intrigues him so much. I've read books about it, so many times that the teacher couldn't sell them after I was done with them. 'Too worn', he used to say.
I don't notice when the carriage stops moving. I never do. But I realize it when Bernard says:
"We're here". I feel a bit embarrassed. I should notice when we stop moving, at least. As Bernard helps me out of the carriage I hear a noise from the back of our carriage. I look there and notice the man, or the woman, whom I saw in the party. He looks tired. But I shouldn't pay attention to him. When Bernard notices him he looks a bit annoyed. I get a bad feeling as he asks the carriage drivers to 'teach him a lesson'. When we get to the door he kisses my hand.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, milady". He goes back to his carriage and as soon as the driver returns they go back towards the palace.

Chapter 8

16th of St.Augustus

Entry 12

I couldn't just sit here. I know I couldn't. I was too restless, too intrigued by that woman. It was almost midnight and really dark outside. But I didn't care. 
Brother said how "dangerous it is for a young lady to go out at night, especially alone."
"Do I look like a young lady to you?", I snapped at him, pointing at my clothes. I hadn't changed them, ignoring my brother's pleads. He made me wash my face, though, so I guess I looked more like a girl than before. He sighed.
"... Put on something more appropriate, at least", he said as he handed me one of his few fancy clothes. I know I can't change his mind anymore so I put it on. Thanks to my boyish build and non-existent breasts it fit me almost perfectly, except that the sleeves were a bit too long. Brother always used to complain about how tall I am compared to him.
He offered to walk me to the palace's gates but I refused. I wanted to sneak in again. The guards were a bit more attentive than earlier, probably because of the incident I caused. But I managed to sneak in again. I tried to glance through the room, looking for the woman who had caught my eye but I couldn't see her. I checked what time it was: five minutes past midnight. 'She must have gone home already', I thought, but still tried to look for her. After a while I asked about her from someone who looked important enough.
Finally, I found one of the King's boys, Alexander, from the balcony, flirting with some girl. I know him because we used to play together until his royal duties started when he was fifteen.
I grabbed his collar and pulled him farther away from the girl. When I told him who I am he looked   shocked.
"Joce,is that really you? Mm... Hair - check! Eyes - check! Super tall? Yup, it is you. No one else would dare to wear their hair this long with that suit. So tell me, mate, what's the problem?". I wanted to punch him in the face but I restrained myself from doing so.
"Have you seen a girl around here? Not just any girl but one with this really curly, red hair and eyes that look like they could pierce you.", I asked.
"Well... maybe. Give me something more to refresh my memory, hun." 
I really wanted to punch him in the face.
"She has a light blue dress and white roses in her hair?", I tried again.
"Still nothing".
"...She has breasts. Big ones. So stop playing around and please tell me where she is". I thought I'd die of shame.
"Oh, that girlie. Yup, I know where she is. She left just a minute ago, bro wanted to take her home. And her parents left too".
"You bastard! Why didn't you say so in the first place?!".
I actually punched him in the face. I didn't stay to check if he's okay but ran, out of the back door and to the gates. I saw two dark carriages leaving the palace. I grabbed on the second carriage and found a narrow ledge to stand on. At least I didn't have to run after it.
I don't know how long I stood there but when the carriage finally stopped my legs were like jelly. But I didn't give in to the exhaustion but managed to stay standing. I managed to check who got out of the first carriage - a man and a woman in their forties. And a boy, seven years old at most.  Then I saw as the second carriage's doors flew open and the King's first son, Bernard stepped out. He kept the door open as She got out with a seemingly tired expression on her face. I could also see the tiredness in the way she walked. She didn't walk gracefully, like earlier, but as if she hadn't slept in weeks. Then she turned her face towards me.
Her eyes were no longer icy. They were softer. Warmer. I could feel her taking over my head again. Bernard noticed me by watching where she was looking. He told the drivers to "give the boy a lesson, to learn not to stalk at young ladies." 
They grabbed me from my shoulders and took me farther away. They punched me a couple of times, to my face and stomach, and threw me in the mud. One of them kicked me before they returned to the carriages. I was exhausted and hurting all over. The clothes my brother borrowed to me were dirty with mud and blood. I passed out in the mud. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to sleep.

Chapter 7

16th of the month of saint Augustus, year 137

Mother,

are you well? I heard about the cold, I hope you are feeling better. I had a great day yesterday. I visited the royal palace to celebrate King Leo's 52nd birthday. Sure, the wine was good, but it wasn't the best thing about the day. I met a woman. Not just any woman, you wouldn't find her in a bar. She was pretty but it was her charm that made me interested. Red hair like hers is so rare it can't go unnoticed and the ice blue eyes aren't common either. They're vibrant yet pale, like pearls. I have met her before, I just know it.

I am truly glad you're there for me. I don't know how I could make it without you.

With love, 

Cain

Chapter 6

The noblemen's boys haven't given up on me yet. They should. I have nothing to offer to them. I try to tell them to leave me alone but I can't get the words out. I can't speak. I feel so anxious I can barely breathe. I fall halfway down on my knees,  trying to keep myself conscious.
"Gentlemen, please let the lady be. There are easier girls around here", I hear from behind them. They grow visibly pale and run away. A man, around forty years of age and overwhelmingly charming, steps closer to where the boys had been. He takes off his silky glove and gives me his hand to help me up. I can't help but stare into his eyes. They're deep but cold, somehow. The color seems to be a mix of grey and green, I've never seen eyes like that before.
"Are you alright, milady?", he asks and bows down to me. I'd like to say I am but I'm not. He helps me to the nearest free seat and grabs  me a glass of water. I start feeling better again. I can breathe again.
"Thank you... and sorry. I'm sorry for making you do so much for me." I say. I almost break into tears but hold it back, somehow.
"Milady, you're not the one to apologize. It's all right. I think I'll teach those kids a lesson later. Just please sit here until you calm down a bit". For some reason he seems to be truly worried about me.
"But right now I've got some errands to take care of, may I ask for a chance to dance with you later tonight?". He kisses my hand and leaves. Only now I notice my mother, around ten feet away from me. She looks surprised, almost shocked, staring alternately at me and the man who brought me water. When he's out of sight she comes to me, almost running.
"If I had known this would happen I would've taken you here a lot sooner! How did you do that? You don't know how happy I am for you!". I have a feeling that she lost her mind. I back away from her a little. She grabs my shoulders.
"Don't you know who that man was? He's Lord Cain McCleary, the owner of the biggest ship company in the whole world. You really haven't heard of him?".
I shake my head. I've never heard the name before. Or if I have, I can't remember it. I was never interested in politics, economy or shipping industry. I can hear mother, talking to father.
"... And King Leopold hasn't even showed up yet! This is our chance to make some real connections, don't you think, love?". Father stays quiet. I have noticed that he never says a thing, at least when I'm around.
"Miss Elena Müller, I presume?", I hear from behind me. It's a short, harmless-looking man with a simple suit and a walking stick.
"That's me, yes", I answer. I can tell he sees the way I look at him.
"I'm sorry to intrude but are you interested in philosophy?". As I hear him ask the question I can feel excitement growing inside me. I know I could talk about philosophy for hours upon hours. I start talking without thinking, asking his opinion about certain subjects. After a while he asks me to stop and catch my breath. I apologize for getting too excited.
"I-it's all right, milady, I was just surprised. But I'll let you back to whatever you were doing. Sorry for taking your time." That was an unusual conversation, I have to admit. There must be some ulterior motive to it. For some reason I have a feeling that the night isn't over yet.

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

As our carriage slides through the front gates I can't help but feel amazed. The royal palace looks even bigger up close than farther away. There are hundreds of roses all around the yard and in the middle of it there's the memorial fountain for Queen Amélie, the King's first wife. The fountain's three times my height and made of the finest white marble. The only blue roses around grow around it. Rumor has it that the queen loved blue roses so much that after she died the king gathered all the blue rose bushes and planted them around the fountain once it was ready. Nobody knows whether that's true or not but Mrs Margaret, our laundress, claims it's true.

When we step through the beautifully carved wooden front door a servant asks us to give our coats, bags and hats in their care. I give him my handbag, even though I feel less safe without it. Once we're ready we step into the ballroom. It's so full of people it makes me anxious. As soon as I find a comfortable seat close to a wall someone asks me to dance. It's a fairly tall, well-fed man with a well groomed beard and a pair of warm brown, wise eyes behind expensive smart people's glasses. I glance timidly at my mother who says 'it's okay' and I accept the invite. The musicians start playing a waltz as we step on the dance floor. He starts dancing a dull, lazy version of waltz and I follow, trying to keep up with the slow pace. It sounds like the music's slowing down too.

Once I catch up he starts telling me about his research with ancient cultures. When I was still studying I took particular interest in the subject and the teacher bought me about half a dozen other books about it. It's not the only subject I found interesting, though, so by the end of the year I got around fifty new books about my matters of interest, including philosophy, psychology, history in general, and literature. I can only imagine how much money and effort all this needed. Some time later I politely asked my father to give my teacher a raise. To my surprise he actually did.

As my dancing partner notices my interest in the subject his eyes widen. He starts talking more deeply about it and lets me talk and comment too, as if I was a colleague of his, not some little girl sent here to seduce the king. At some point we stopped dancing but I didn't realize when. My anxiety is long gone.

I don't know how long we chatted. It could've been minutes, it could've been hours. All of a sudden, someone pulls me back from the shoulder, as if I was in some kind of a fantasy world. They grab my hand and waist to stop my fall. It's an other man, seemingly a couple of years older than I am, hair a bit messy and eyes burning like blue flames.
"Dear bro, you shouldn't keep all the fun to yourself!", he sounds enthusiastic, maybe a bit cynical.
"My apologies, bro, but the lady and I are having a mature, intelligent conversation here, so why don't you go back to play with your rattle and let her be?". He seems calm, a bit annoyed. The man who still holds my hand gets really angry and starts shouting all kinds of insults, letting my hand and waist go. I withdraw to the nearest seat close to a wall.

"Well, that went better than expected", mother says as she and father come back from dancing.
"What do you mean, mother?", I ask, and immediately regret it. She gets an irritated look in her eyes.
"Oh, you didn't know? The man you were dancing with, he's the elder of King Leopold's sons, Bernard. And the one who distracted you two is the younger son, Alexander. Odd fellows I heard, but royalty". I nod, both as a thanks and an apology. She smiles and goes to chat with other people, taking father with her. As soon as they leave a couple of noblemen's sons come around me. My anxiety grows but I can't find a way to escape. I look around for a place to hide as someone catches my eye. It's a man - or a woman, I'm not sure - with a dirty face and rags that definitely put him apart from the rest. His strong, green eyes and long blond hair conflict with the ragged look he has. I follow his every move so intensively I can't hear what other people say anymore. I can see him picking people's pockets, robbing them clean. His pockets look so full... I could call the guards on him but I'm too busy observing him. I can see that he notices that I look at him. He looks stunned, somehow. Then he's caught, trying to steal some old man's pocket watch and the guards drag him away. What a shame.

Chapter 3

16th of St.Augustus

Entry 11

I snuck in the King's birthday party today. There were oddly few guards so I had easy time getting in. I earned a lot. I mean, A LOT. Everyone left their coats and pouches unattended . What idiots! I stole it all. And I regret nothing. 'Stealers, keepers' they say. Ha! If they only knew how right they are... And top it off, when I was going around the great hall, no one cared. Even though I looked like a street rat no one cared. Not that I'm complaining, I was able to pick many pockets while walking around. But in the end, I still failed.

A beautiful lady caught my eye there. Dark red hair that could probably be seen miles away and pale blue eyes, staring right into my soul as if she knew what I was doing. That voluptuous body of hers attracted a crowd of lusting men around her, so she could easily have said something about me. But she didn't. Instead, she just stared at me. And she looked very uncomfortable there. I could barely resist the urge to steal her away.

She occupied my mind, started building her home there. I couldn't fully concentrate on what I was doing. People started noticing how empty their pockets were. And when I was caught trying to steal some rich bastard's money bag I knew I was screwed. Two hours I spent in the prison. Two hours until my brother came to pay the bail. He was furious. "What were you thinking?! If Jack hadn't been working today and contacted me you would still be sitting there, rotting in jail! I don't have the time and money to bail you out every time you screw up like this! For Aknia's sake!"he kept shouting at me. But I wasn't listening. I was preoccupied with the woman in my mind.

"Anyway, you should get a job. I'm not going to pay for your living forever." Those words got stuck to my mind because he sounded different. He wasn't shouting anymore.
"I have to go back to work and explain my absence to Lord McCleary. I hope he doesn't fire me. Adios, sister."

Chapter 2

 15th of the month of saint Augustus, year 137

Mother,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I know it has been too long ago since I last wrote. I am sorry, once more. It is not easy making a living in this shit hole of vice. All those beggars and whores, leeching on this cesspit like maggots on a rotting corpse. And the "elite", those wealthy pigs, are even worse. In their mighty castles and towers and mansions they are too high to wade in this filth like we have to. The sick fumes of rot and misery don't reach them through all that gold and perfume. I'm up to neck with all that fucking sanctimonious hypocrisy. So weary... so angry, every damn day in and out. There is no place for Aknia's love or grace here. I pray. I really try, but I no longer feel it. There is just the anger. It's fire in me. Burning. Keeping me warm. Compelling. Bringing light.

Purging this den of sin of all the sick puss.

Those unworthy swine have no idea. They are so full of it, so full of themselves they don't see, but tonight, yes, tonight the time of reckoning is at hand. The false idols will fall, the pigs will squeal. There will be such noise and they'll run around in panic, and then... peace. Yes, such beautiful peace. A new beginning from a clean slate, a chance to make it right this time.

Something may go wrong and if so I apologize. Again. I don't mean to cause you worry or sorrow, dear mother, for I love you. I would pray, but I am tainted too now, I shine no more as I've walked too long in the dark. I am Aknia's tool now, but no longer in His grace. But I must do this, and ask that you pray for me. I am thankful that you are back home, safe, not here... but I must do this. Someone must take these wrongdoers on the knee and spank them like a good loving father corrects a child. And there is none but me to do it.

Speaking of fathers, how is he? I heard he fell ill. But I know he will be all right, since you're the one taking care of him and he's in your prayers. And how are Anna, Thomas, John? Little Beth? I wish I could see them again. It's been so long... and now it may be I will never will.

I can't take this alone, mother. It's too much. I need you. Pray for me, think of me with love, for there is neither love nor prayers here. I miss you, and look forward to seeing you again, in this world or the next.

With all my love, 

always yours

Cain

Chapter 1

My mother wakes me up early today. 'It's the King's birthday and we need you to represent us' she says. 'He is an old man now and needs a strong queen by his side. There's a chance he'll choose you if you put up your best behavior and smile. Everything will be fine.' I nod as I get out of my bed. It's so soft and comfortable I wish I could have slept late. But I obey my mother and sit in front of the small table near my bed. There are many porcelain boxes on it, different shapes and sizes. I pick my favorite hair brush from one box and start brushing my hair.

 I've never liked the dark, pale red color of  my hair. It reminds me too much of the day four years ago. Even the thought of it makes me shudder. I try to brush through it as fast as I can but the tangled curls just keep appearing, one after another. I want to pull it out, even bald is better than this. I brush more and more furiously, like in a dream. I come to my senses as my mother grabs my arm. 'What are you doing? Stop that, Elena!' I stop brushing and look at her. Her eyes look dark. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. She takes the hair brush from my hand and starts brushing my hair firmly yet gently. I envy her. She is beautiful and wise. Unlike me.

I awaken from these thoughts as my little brother, Arthur, swings my door open and speeds on my bed. 'Sister, the carriage's here! We get to ride a carriage!' he shouts excitedly. Mother ceases brushing my hair and rushes my brother back out of my room. Somehow I'm glad he appeared, even for a while. I focus my attention to the dress I'm supposed to wear today.It's made of  flowery blue silk with the most beautiful lace I've ever seen. The puffiness of its sleeves and hem look comfortable but I wonder if I can make my waist thin enough for it.

After my mother's done brushing my hair she begins braiding the hair on the sides of my head and rolls the braids into a bun. She then turns the rest of my hair into tight curls with hot rolls of metal and wood. When the curls were ready she adorned the coiffure with a white bow. 'Look, honey, how beautiful you are. I'm sure you'll make us proud.' I hope so too. I have to stand up and hold my breath as my mother tightens the corset. She complains about how difficult it is to tighten the laces by herself. I listen to her, quietly but nodding my head a little to show I'm listening to her, because she likes the quiet. I once heard that she even hates birdsong.
When she can't tighten the corset anymore, she ties the laces into a knot and catches her breath. I can't breathe well but I can bear it so I hide my discomfort. Mother takes the dress off the hanger and helps me to put it on. It barely fits but I'm glad it does. As I look in the mirror on the table notice how enormous my chest looks. I'm about to complain about it when Arthur comes to the door again. 'Papa wants you to be ready in five minutes. Hurry, sister, or they'll leave you here!' he shouts again and runs away before mother gets to say anything. She grunts quietly as she puts a couple of silk flowers in my hair. She asks me to tell father we're ready as she scurries in her personal dressing room. I tiptoe to my father and apologize for taking so long. He glances at me with his ever so serious expression. I think I see a tear in the corner of his eye, though.

When mother arrives she's carrying a small box in her hands. As she sees the way I look at it, curiously and yearning to know what's in it, she says 'it's a secret.' After we step into the carriage I can't help but wonder what the box contains. A jewel? A letter? All the possibilities flood my mind as I look out the window at the passing scenery. Ordinary people with ordinary jobs. People with freedom. Suddenly I realize where I'm going and do my best to keep calm.

Lyrics 2

That wave of bombers
Above the sleeping land
Drove our our silent, grey procession
To wade in the snow
At first, everybody got to see
Their world burn
Every man had to burn
Their own house down

Whenever the firing ceases
Again, continues the journey
The measly group that doesn't have time
To look behind
When in the endless snow
Little brother was buried
From the blood red sky reflected
The laughing reaper

The battalions of death walk behind me
In front of us, the landscape is like a bed sheet
Our camp
Must be moved again
Either across the border or into the heaven

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWdq6TUnS8k

Lyrics

Ellu was the cashier of a bar
working in that cafe
in the backroom of which we used to live for a while

Since I couldn't get a job
together we stayed up for nights
I don't know what to do
I guess I must put the kids in the child welfare office

Is nothing enough in life
Can't the horrible pressure loosen its grip
We too tried to convince
That we'd buy an electric stove next to the fridge

Because Ellu always cried at work
She then got the payoff
And in the hallway of an ATM we were freezing at nights
I think she was pregnant again, too
I stole a coat for her from somewhere
I don't know what to do
The circumstances got me imprisoned

When Ellu was hit by the taxi
That, while turning left
Didn't show the turn signal even though he said so
It was a small-scale funeral
I would like one myself
I don't know what to do
I've already gone numb to the feeling of agony

Is nothing enough in life
Can't the horrible pressure loosen its grip
We too tried to convince
That we'd buy an electric stove next to the fridge

Is nothing enough in life
Can't the horrible pressure loosen its grip
How often you get battered
How quickly fade away
money and fame

Elina, what should I do

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIveFoEjwf8

Jocelyn Character Profile Worksheet

Character Profile Worksheet

Basic Statistics

Name: Jocelyn Braun
Age: 24
Nationality: German
Socioeconomic Level as a child: lower middle
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: low
Hometown:
Current Residence:
Occupation: Racer/hunter
Income:
Talents/Skills: driving, shooting
Salary:
Birth order: eldest
Siblings (describe relationship): One younger sister and a younger brother, she left them when they were three
Spouse (describe relationship): none
Children (describe relationship):none
Grandparents (describe relationship): never met them
Grandchildren (describe relationship): none
Significant Others (describe relationship): none
Relationship skills: poor. She doesn't understand relationships


Physical Characteristics:

Height: 5'9"
Weight: 130lb
Race:  Caucasian
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: blonde
Glasses or contact lenses? neither
Skin color: lightly tanned
Shape of Face:  heart
Distinguishing features: narrowish eyes and lips, tattoos
How does he/she dress? masculinely
Mannerisms: daring
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) drinks often, smokes occasionally, tries out different drugs
Health: good
Hobbies: racing
Favorite Sayings:
Speech patterns:
Disabilities: none
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): sporty casual
Greatest flaw: brutal honesty
Best quality: bravery


Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes 

Educational Background:  Primary, self-funded
Intelligence Level: IQ 102
Any Mental Illnesses? None
Learning Experiences:
Character's short-term goals in life: Getting food
Character's long-term goals in life: Getting a proper job
How does Character see himself/herself? A free daredevil
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Inferior cowards
How self-confident is the character? Very
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? A combination
What would most embarrass this character? Losing in her own game


Emotional Characteristics


Strengths/Weaknesses: Smart and brave/ daring and careless
Introvert or Extrovert? extrovert
How does the character deal with anger? gets really angry, throws things around and might shout
With sadness? Doesn't know how to deal with it so it piles up until she can't take it anymore
With conflict? head-on
With change? welcomes the change
With loss? gets mad and frustrated
What does the character want out of life? fun and freedom
What would the character like to change in his/her life? less tied down because of money
What motivates this character? Cash, pride and freedom
What frightens this character?
What makes this character happy?
Is the character judgmental of others? A bit
Is the character generous or stingy? stingy
Is the character generally polite or rude? Generally rude


Spiritual Characteristics

Does the character believe in God? She doesn't
What are the character's spiritual beliefs? Live and let die
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character's life?
If so, what role does it play?


How the Character is Involved in the Story 

Character's role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.):
Scene where character first appears:
Relationships with other characters:

1. Character's Name: -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).
2. Character's Name: -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).
3. Character's Name: -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).
4. Character's Name: -- (Describe relationship with this character and changes to relationship over the course of the novel).

How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: 

Additional Notes on This Character:

---

---

Elena Character Development (WIP)

FULL NAME: Elena Müller
MEANING:  Elena comes from Helena, meaning 'torch' or 'corposant.' Müller means 'miller'
NICKNAME: Ellie
MEANING:
AGE APPEARANCE: 20-25
BIRTHDAY: July 27
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN:  Leo
SPECIES:  Human
GENDER:  Female
ALLERGIES:  None
SEXUAL PREFERANCE: Both
THEME SONG(S):

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Red-brown
HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Curly, almost to the knees when straight
EYES COLOR:  Light blue
EYESIGHT:  Perfect
HEIGHT:  5'6''
WEIGHT:  150lb
OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Usually fairly classy, varies a lot
ABNORMALITIES(TAIL):  none
DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): faint freckles
SELF CARE(MAKE UP):  Some but not overdone
FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Stunning
SKIN COLOR: Pale
BODY TYPE/BUILD: Curvy
DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Bored/smiling
POSTURE:
MEASUREMENTS(FEMALE ONLY): (cm) 110-90-100
PIERCINGS:  earrings
DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE:  gentle

RELATIONSHIPS

MOM: lives elsewhere, divorced
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: well
DAD: lives elsewhere, divorced
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: fairly well
SIBLINGS: Two younger siblings, a girl and a boy
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Well
CHILDREN: One
HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: He was given for adoption
OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Stepfather, get along okay
PAST LOVER(S): one, he was killed
CURRENT LOVER: none (changes)
REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: acts nice and kind, secretly indifferent
ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: team player
HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): An introvert, likes to spend time one-to-one
FRIENDS: some
PETS: none
LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Arrogant and violent
PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): friendly and loyal
AFFINITY WITH...:
FAVORITE PEOPLE:
LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE:

PERSONALITY

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: she seems like a girl next door
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): they're very friendly
..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): indifferent and cold
FAVORITE COLOR: emerald green
FAVORITE FOOD: potatoes and rabbit haunch
FAVORITE ANIMAL: a pig
FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: violin
FAVORITE ELEMENT: water
LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: bright orange
LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: fish stew
LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: butterfly
LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT:  guitar
LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: air
HOBBIES:
USUAL MOOD: fairly blue
DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: none
DARK VERSION OF SELF: Tsundere
LIGHT VERSION OF SELF:
HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY:
CLASS IN AN RPG: Priest
BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: False
(IN)DEPENDENT:
SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Little children, loved ones
OPINION ON SWEARING: She doesn't like swearing
DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Cautious
MUSIC TYPE: indie
MOVIE TYPE: romance
BOOK TYPE: drama
GAME TYPE: board game
COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: 20C
SLEEPING PATTERN:
CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Fairly neat but can handle mess
DESIRED PET: A cat
HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Reading, playing a violin
BIGGEST SECRET: Has fallen in love with a woman before
HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Joce
WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: A dog
FEARS:
COMFORTS:

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE...
SAD:
HAPPY:
ANGRY:
AFRAID:
LOVE SOMEONE:
HATE SOMEONE:
WANT SOMETHING:
CONFUSED:

HOW DO THEY REACT TO...
DANGER:
SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM:
PROPOSAL TO MARRY:
DEATH OF LOVED ONE:
DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC:
INJURY:
SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE:
LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK:

HISTORY

BIOGRAPHY:
FIRST APPEARANCE:

KNOWLEDGE

LANGUAGES:
SCHOOLING LEVEL:
FAVORITE SUBJECT:
INTERESTED CAREERS:
EXPERTICE:
PUZZLES:
CHEMISTRY:
MATH:
ENGLISH:
GEOGRAPHY:
POLITICS/LAW:
ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING:
COOKING:
SEWING:
MECHANICS:
BOTANY (FLOWERS):
MYTHOLOGY:
DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING):
READING LEVEL:
HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD:
IMPULSIVE/STRATEGY:

ROMANCE

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE:
HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC):
GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY:
GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO:
PROTECTIVE:
ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS:
WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY:
TYPE OF KISSER:
DO THEY WANT KIDS:
DO THEY WANT TO MARRY:
MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS:
ARE THEY ROMANTIC:
HOW ARE THEY IN BED: No one knows
GET JEALOUS EASY:
WIFE/HUBBY BEATER:
MARRY FOR MONEY:
FAVORITE POSITION: None
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE:
OPINION ON SEX: Unnecessary

Character sheet of the male character (WIP)

Big-Ass Character Sheet (Updating)

• by Character-Resource, Jun 10, 2010, 2:17:08 PM
• Literature / Characters & Settings / Contemporary / Profiles

Verse: (The universe your character belongs to. Can be original or fanfiction. [Ex: Original : The name of your book, movie, game or whatever. Fanfiction: Pokemon, Star Trek, Naruto, ect.)
Date: (The date this sheet was completed.) 24.6

Full Name: (Self explanatory) Cain McCleary
Pronunciation: (Self explanatory) Kein
Nickname/Alias: (Does your character have a pet name, fake identity, or any other thing they like to go by? Put it here.) -
Meaning: ([Ex: Emily means "admiring" and William means "protector"] If you aren't sure your character's name has a meaning look it up, I'm sure you'll find something. If it's a fantasy name you made yourself, give it a meaning.) -
Origin: (How did you come up with your character's name?)
Title: (Do have a title along with their name? [Ex: Sir, Captain, Ms.])
Pet Name: (What do other people call your character? [kid, squirt, babe, ect] May be insulting, endearing, or a combination of both. May have more than one, if other characters call them different things.
ID Number: (A number that may also be used to identify your character, such as tournaments and prison settings)
Signature: (What is their handwriting like?)

Gender: (Self explanatory) Male
Gender Role: (Does your character generally act more feminine or masculine?) Masculine
Orientation: (Ex: Straight, Bisexual, Homosexual) Bisexual
Real Age: (How old your character is in years) 31
Age Appearance: (How old does your character look? This is mostly for immortal creatures such as deities, but can be used with anybody. [if someone looks older or younger than their age) 25
Birthday: (Self explanatory)  May 15
Deathday: (May not have one yet)
Birthplace: (Where was your character born?)
Astrological Sign: (Western) Taurus
Zodiac Sign: (Eastern) Rat

Immediate Family: (Who was your character raised by?)
Distant Family: (The ones they don't see every day)
Parenting: (Were their parents strict or fun-loving?)
Upbringing: (What morals and ideals were your characters raised with?)
Infancy: ([0-2] What was it like when your character was a baby? Were they nurtured or dropped at birth?)
Childhood: ([3-12] What was it like for your character growing as a kid ?)
Adolescence: ([13-17] Teen years)
Adulthood: ([18+] When your character has fully matured. If your character isn't yet an adult, plan what would happen to them in the future.)
Coming of Age: (When and how did your character "grow up"?)
Evolution: (How has your character changed since they were younger?)

Species: (Human, animal, or a fantasy race) Human
Ethnicity: (Self Explanatory) Caucasian
Blood Type: (Self explanatory)
Preferred Hand: (Right handed, left handed, or ambidextrous?) Right handed
Facial Type: (Ex: Oval, heart, square, round, )
Eye Color: (Self explanatory) Dark blue
Hair Color (Self Explanatory) Brown
Hairstyle: (Self explanatory) Short, a bit messy
Skin Tone: (Self Explanatory) tanned
Complexion: (Self explanatory) fairly smooth
Makeup: (If any) Eyeliner
Body Type: (Endomorph, Ectomorph, Mesomorph, or somewhere in between?) Between mesomorph and ectomorph
Build: (Long legs, chubby cheeks, or muscular arms?) Muscular, long legs and arms
Height: (In inches) 6'2''
Weight: (In pounds) 150
Cup Size: (Self explanatory) none
Facial Hair: (If applicable) Stubble if any
Shoe Size: (Self Explanatory) 11
Birthmarks/scars: (Self explanatory)
Distinguishing Features: (Something unique that stands out) Stunningly beautiful.

Health: (How healthy is your character?) Perfectly healthy
Energy: (How much energy does your character have on a daily basis?) Normal amount
Memory: (How well does your character remember things, and what do they remember?)
Senses: (Are any of your character's senses better or worse than others?) Good sense of smell
Allergies: (Self Explanatory. May be optional.) None
Handicaps: ([Ex: A limp, deafness, missing an eye] May be optional.) none
Medication: (What meds do your character take, if any?) none
Phobias: (Things that simply terrify your character. May be trivial or debilitating. Try to have at least one.) Afraid of being abandoned
Addictions: (Drugs, alcohol, gambling, or bad teen romance) sex, adrenaline
Mental Disorders: ([Ex: Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Paranoia.] May be optional.) Psychopathy/sociopathy/Narcissism

Style: (The overall style your character shows, not just limited to clothing. Ex: Punk, Goth, Nerd) A mix of goth, punk and modern high-class
Mode of Dress: (Don't describe their clothes here. Describe how they wear their clothes. Two people can wear a suit, but each will wear it differently. [Ex: Is the shirt tucked in?]) Shows a sense of style
Grooming: (Well-kept or messy?) somewhat well kept
Posture: (How does your character present themselves? Ex: Stiff, slouchy, suggestive) Suggestive
Gait: (The speed and style which how your character moves) Usually moves fairly fast
Coordination: (How physically fit is your character? Also add things like reflexes, ect.) Fit with a visible sixpack but more natural than that of a bodybuilder
Habits and Mannerisms: (Any nervous ticks or unconscious habits your character might have. Ex: Nail biting, crosses arms, or twirls hair) Tends to avoid looking in the eyes unless seducing
Scent: (What does your character smell like? Good or bad? How strong?) A faint smell of roses

Mood: (What mood are you most likely to catch your character in?) Tends to look bored and a bit uncomfortable, searching for a woman to keep him company
Attitude: (How does your character interact with others?) Tends to use nicknames and gentle gestures with attractive people, is very distant to unattractive people.
Stability: (How emotionally consistant are they?) Fairly impatient, gets angry easily and might pick a fight if offended
Expressiveness: (Do they hide emotion or let it out openly?) Hides them well
When Happy: (Ex: Whistles, sings, skips) Smiles a lot, whistles at times
When Depressed: (Ex: locks themself in their room, listens to music, hugs a stuffed animal) Hides in a corner and keeps his hands on his face
When Angry: (Ex: Punches walls, screams at people, trolls online) Punches walls, might pick a fight with someone too close to him
Note: These are generalizations. Different situations will create different reactions.

Current Residence: (Where does your character live right now? May or may not include a geographical location) In the central city
Community: (What does the general population act like where your character lives?) Friendly but a bit shallow.
Family: ([Ex: Parents, children, siblings] Include stepfamilies if it applies, and label as such.) A sister,
Friends: (Who does your character like to hang out with?) Alone usually
Enemies: (Who does your character despise?) Cops
Bosses: (Who does your character answer to)
Followers: (Who answers to your character?)
Heroes: (Who does your character look up to?)
Rivals: (Who are they competing with?)
Relates to: (Who is similar to your character?)
Pets/Familiars: (Describe a pet your character owns, real or fantasy and give it a name.)

Wardrobe: (Describe your character's closet. What is their formal, casual, or other kind of wear?) Dark clothes and jewelry
Equipment: (Refers to tools or weapons your character may use. [Ex: A sword for a warrior] A butterfly knife and a revolver
Accessories: (Tattoos, piercing, jewelry, glasses, ect.) Earrings, necklace or two
Trinkets: (Applies to but not limited to good luck charms, purses, watches, or any other items they carry with them almost all the time.)
Funds: (How much cash does your character have on hand, and how much at home/in the bank?) Enough to survive a week or two
Home: (What is your character's house like? Describe it's overall appearance, [Ex: Shabby, fancy] type of house, [Trailer, mansion] and describe things such as the yard, wallpaper, or any other information. Things like bedrooms count as your character's home.) A small but fancy apartment.
Neighborhood: (What are the people and places near your character like?) Cautious
Transportation: (How does your character get around? [Ex: Car, bus, bike]) Walking or motorcycle
License Plate Number: (Can be regular numbers, or something more creative. Adjust for your country.) ----
Collections: (Does your character like to hoard or collect anything?)
Most valuable possession: (In money)
Prized Possession: (What object does your character value above all else?) A jewel

Lovers: (From childhood crushes, to exes, to a married partner, who does your character love?)
Marital Status: (Ex: Single, Taken, Dating, Available) Single
Sex Life: (Pretty self explanatory)
Type: (Eros/ragma/Banquet/Mania/Ludus/Storge)
Turn-Ons: (What does your character want to see in their ideal mate?)
Turn Offs: (What tends to make them back off)
Position: (Dom/Sub)
Plays: (Bondage, roleplay, ect.)
Fetishes: (Self Explanatory)
Virginity: (How many times have they "done it"?)
Element: (Fire/Water/Air/Earth)

Occupation: (Self explanatory)
Work Ethnic: (How hard does your character work? How do they feel about their job?)
Rank: (How high up are they on the corporate ladder?)
Income: (How much money do they make?)
Wealth Status: (How well financed is your character? Ex: Upper, middle, or lower class)
Experience: (Include things like pasts jobs, or things that contributed to current occupation.)
Organizations/Affiliations: (Who does your character side with?)

IQ: (Self explanatory)
Education: (How good is their education?)
School: (What was their school like?)
Grade: (What grades would they get?)
Special Education: (Did they ever get held back or get honor role?)
Social Stereotype: (ex: nerd, goth, punk)
Degrees: (What degrees did/would they earn in school?)
Intelligence: (Linguistic/logical/spatial/kinesthetic/musical/interpersonal/intrapersonal/naturalist)
Extracurricular Activities: (Such as P.E. or art)

Religion: (Self Explanatory)
Morals: (What does your character find morally right or wrong?)
Crime Record: (Relationship with authority, laws broken, and crimes committed.)
Motivation: (What moves your character? [Ex: Power, money, love)]
Priorities: (What does your character place first, second, and third?)
Philosophy: (Your character's outlook on life)
Political Party: (Ex: Democrat, Republican, Liberal, or Conservative)
Etiquette: (How good our your characters manners? Do they bow or chew with their mouth open?)
Culture: (Any things your character may do specific to a certain culture. [Ex: Bowing in Japan] Do your research on this one or you could offend people. )
Influences: (Who or what inspires your character to change? Do they influence anyone else?)
Relates to: (Who can your character relate to?)
Traditions: (Does your character sit around the table with their family? What holidays do they celebrate?)
Superstitions: (spilling salt, knocking on wood)

Main Goal: (Driving force in the story. May be subject to change.)
Minor Goals/Ambitions: (What is your character trying to accomplish?)
Career: (What would be your character's dream job?)
Desires: (What does your character want?)
Wishlist: (What material items does your character want?)
Accomplishments: (Did they succeed in any goals?)
Greatest Achievement: (Self Explanatory)
Biggest Failure: (Self Explanatory)
Secrets: (Everyone has at least one)
Regrets: (Self Explanatory)
Worries: (What do they worry about?)
Best Dream:  (What would be the best thing that could possibly happen to your character?)
Worst Nightmare: (The worst thing that could ever happen?)
Best Memories: (A few stand out memories from the past. [keep it short and sweet])
Worst Memories: (A few stand out memories from the past. [keep it short and sweet])

Hobbies/Interests: (What does your character like to do for fun?)
Skills/Talents: (Similar to hobbies, but refers to the level of skill a character has. For example, a character could like playing violin but isn't very good at it or vice versa.)
Likes: (What does your character like?)
Dislikes: (What can't they stand?)
Sense of Humor: (Dark/dry/witty/sarcastic/dirty/childish/sophisticated/ironic)
Pet Peeves: (Similar to dislikes, only more relating to human behavior than specific objects. Ex: When people tap on things or when people say "You're not fat!" when you really are)
Superstitions/Beliefs: (Does your character believe in conspiracy theories or aliens? Do they throw salt over their shoulder or knock on wood?)
Dreams/Nightmares: (What do they dream about? [at night])
Quirks: (The strange little things that your character does to make them unique. Ex: Sleeps with their feet on the pillow or runs their hand along a pole as they walk beside it.)
Savvy: (What is your character particularly well-informed of? [Ex: Politically, nature)
Can't understand: (Something they just can't get into, such as English literate or obsession with sports)
Closet Hobby: (Something that your character likes but isn't too obvious.)
Guilty Pleasure: (You know...)

Strengths: (What makes them stand a bit above the crowd? [Ex: Courageous, good listener, calm under pressure] Not supernatural abilities.)
Flaws: (Refers to negative personality traits, not a weakness. Make sure it's a deep flaw that could actually affect your character, not something trivial like "She can't dance". [Ex: Lies constantly, socially backwards, hot-tempered])
Perception: (How does your character generally see the world?)
Conflicts: (What issues make your character want two things, but they can't have both?)
Instincts: (What they are unconsciously driven to do)
Lures: (What are they inexplicably drawn to be near? Ex: Power, money, the helpless)
Soft Spot: (Their vulnerability, what they feel sorry for or have particularly good feelings toward)
Cruel Streak: (What makes a character act against their usual morals, and act especially mean? (everyone has something that can do this to them))

Powers/Abilities: (Here is where to put any superhuman powers and other abilities your character possesses. Be sure to balance them out with weaknesses, or your character loses credibility. This section may be optional depending on what genre you write.)
Origin: (How did they get their powers?)
Source: (How do they use their powers? [ex: shoots fire from hands, can read minds with their ring)
Ability: (How adept are they at using said powers?
Weaknesses: (Make it something that your character exclusively is weak to, and keep it credible. [Ex: A 4-headed radioactive dinosaur is not a credible weakness.])
Immunities: ([Ex: cannot be burned] Be very careful with this one.)
Restrictions: (An absolute necessity for those with supernatural powers. [Ex: Can only breathe fire when angry or can only cast darkness spells twice a day])
Alternate Forms: (Transformations, shape shifting abilities, dark side, ect.)
Extra Anatomy: (Such as wings or a third eye)

Favorite Colors:
Favorite Animals:
Favorite Mythological Creatures:
Favorite Places: (Ex: Fav City, State, or Country)
Favorite Landmarks: (Ex: Eiffel Tower, Mt. Rushmore)
Favorite Flavors: (Ex: Vanilla, Sour, Strawberry)
Favorite Foods:
Favorite Drinks:
Favorite Characters: (Not one of yours)
Favorite Genre:
Favorite Books:
Favorite Movies:
Favorite Games:
Favorite Shows:
Favorite Music:
Favorite Bands:
Favorite Songs:
Favorite Sports:
Favorite Stores:
Favorite Subjects:
Favorite Numbers:
Favorite Websites:
Favorite Words:
Favorite Quotations: (Can be lengthy and philosophical or just simple clichés such as "Every dog has his day)

Least Favorite Colors:
Least Favorite Animals:
Least Favorite Mythological Creatures:
Least Favorite Places:
Favorite Landmarks:
Least Favorite Flavors:
Least Favorite Foods:
Least Favorite Drinks:
Least Favorite Characters:
Least Favorite Genre:
Least Favorite Books:
Least Favorite Movies:
Least Favorite Games:
Least Favorite Shows:
Least Favorite Music:
Least Favorite Bands:
Least Favorite Songs:
Least Favorite Sports:
Least Favorite Stores:
Least Favorite Subjects:
Least Favorite Numbers:
Least Favorite Websites:
Least Favorite Words:
Least Favorite Quotations: (Can be lengthy and philosophical or just simple clichés such as "Every dog has his day)

Languages: (What languages does your character speak and how fluently?)
Accent: (Self explanatory)
Voice: (High pitched, low pitched)
Speech Impediments: (Stutters, slurs, or whistles)
Greetings and Farewells: (How does your character say hello and goodbye?)
State of Mind: (Ask your character "how are you" and see how they respond)
Compliment: (Have your character say something nice)
Insult: (Have your character insult someone)
Expletive: (Can be an actual cuss (Ex: Dammit) or some kind of substitute. (Ex: Darn it!)
Laughter: (What does your character's laugh sound like?)
Tag Line: (Something your character says a lot in everyday sentences. Can often be filled with a sound or vocalization. Ex: Lol, dude, uh)
Signature Quote: (Something significant your character says. Doesn't have to be meaningful, just make it memorable.)

Reputation: (What does the general population think of your character?)
First Impressions: (What would you first think of this character upon meeting them?)
Stranger Impressions: (If someone was told about the character but didn't know them, what would they think?)
Friendly Impressions: (What do people who are friends or acquaintances of your character think of them?)
Enemy Impressions: (What do people who can't stand your character think? If you can't think of anyone who hates your character, we have a problem.)
Familiar Impressions: (What do people very close to your character think of them? Ex: Family, lovers)
Compliments: (What are some good things other people would say of your character? [heroic, good listener])
Insults: (Would anyone like to call your character a whore, jerk, or stupid?)
Self-Impression: (What does your character really think of themselves deep down?)

MBTI Personality Type: [Ex: ENTP, ISTJ]
Temperament: (Chloric/Sanguine/Melancholic/Phlegmatic) May also be called color types, such as yellow, red, blue, or green)
Enneagram: (The Reformer/The Helper/The Achiever/The Individualist/The Investigator/The Loyalist/The Enthusiast/The Challenger/The Peacemaker)
Ego/Superego/Id: (Superego is aims for perfection, society, and the idea of right and wrong. Id is unconscious desires and instincts - Which of these are they most driven by?
The Self: (The center/core of your character)
The Shadow: (The opposite qualities your character themselves does not believe they possess, but do subconsciously)
The Anima/Animus: (The part of the character of the opposite gender)
Persona/Mask: (What they present to the world, or the side they use to protect themselves)

Role: (What purpose does your character serve? [mentor, leader])
Fulfillment: (How well do they serve that role?)
Significance: (Why does your character matter?)
Alignment: (Good/Evil/Neutral/Lawful/Chaotic)
Comparison: (Compare your character to some kind of animal, object, or anything else you can think of.)
Symbol: (Does your character have any kind of recurring symbol that represents them? [Ex: a rose, a black cat, a sunset] Could be blatant or subtle.)
Song: (A song you think best suits your character)
Vice: (Pride/Greed/Gluttony/Lust/Envy/Sloth/Wrath)
Virtue: (Patience/Diligence/Chastity/Temperance/Charity/Kindness/Humility)
Defining Moment: (This is it. The single greatest moment of your character, when they truly become alive.)
Tropes: (What about your character is stereotypical or cliched? [You can't say nothing. Every character has some kind of cliche in them])
Originality: (What makes your character different from one like them?
One Word: (Use a single adjective to sum up your character in a nutshell)

Character Sheet © Character-Resource

I have been waiting for this evening for two weeks and only now I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. Nervously I curl my hair around my finger, even though I spent an hour trying to make it look eligible. I look around me and try to find something to distract me so that I won't lose my mind. I make sure I have everything I need in my purse for the third time and adjust the hem of my dress. She's sure taking her time and it doesn't help at all. I lightly knock on her door and just then she opens it.
My heart starts racing as I see her. Her bronze hair has been neatly curled and lies on her shoulders and the white, silky dress she has brings out her shapes the right way. As I look in her eyes she clearly blushes.

I look in the bathroom mirror. I can barely recognize the person in it. The cloudy, bloodshot eyes aren't mine, nor is the strange lipstick that had appeared all over my face. My skin was bruised and more pale than ever before. I shouldn't have drunk that much. As I tried to solve all the tangles in my hair I watched as many of those long dirty blond strands of hair fell on the floor. I didn't even care anymore. I had a horrible headache from last night's drinking.
"Where did you go?", I heard from my bedroom. It was a woman's voice. It sounded so familiar, yet I couldn't recognize it. I followed the voice to the room and found her there. A girl, perhaps two or three years younger than I was, lied between the sheets. Her beautiful brown hair was unbelievably neat and straight, her blue eyes were clear unlike mine and her skin was pure and clean. But I saw that the faded lipstick was the same I had on my face. I couldn't remember anything related to the previous night so I asked, 'where am I?'

As my hands ripped the filthy man's heart out and crushed it as he was still conscious, I laid my eyes on her. My love, my unspoiled flower, this evil man will never hurt you again. But she just stared at me, in my eyes, lying on the floor, not saying a word. I felt her pulse getting louder and more frequent. My poor baby, it's all better now. She grew pale. Gods, he must've done something to her. I will never forgive him. Once I'd swiped my hand on his stained shirt I took her in my arms and kissed her red, beautiful lips. 'Don't worry, love, I will always protect you.' But she didn't answer me. Instead, she started crying. 'Sshh, it's all right.' She pushed me away and started throwing everything she found at me. 'Monster!' she shouted. 'Somebody, help!' At first I didn't realize what was going on. Didn't she love me? Then I realized it - the man had done something very bad to her. Used her, stained her. She couldn't even scream. Only now she was finally able to let it out.